Self-confidence Exercise Two
By Ellen Prue
One of the quickest and most effective ways to understand how someone else goes about things is to ‘model’ them. This means copying their outward appearance and so getting an idea of how they feel on the inside.
This is so effective that some sports clinics have failing athletes do this – they show them video of their winning days including races, interviews, news footage and have them copy what they were doing at the time.
And think of the apprentice system that still survives in some occupations. The apprentice would ‘pick up’ how to do things from the master just by being around him or her. When you really apply yourself to this you’ll find the difference astounding.
Think of one person who you consider to be self-confident in a situation where you would like to be (see your answers to exercise 1). Write down their name. Do this for every situation in which you would like more self-confidence.
Once you have a ‘confidence model’ for every situation, write down what it is that lets you know that that person is confident – make it specific. For example, rather than, “the way he looks”, write “his face is relaxed and smiling a little”.
Cover all aspects of the person:
• facial expression
• voice tonality (loud, soft, deep…)
• the way they dress
• how they interact with others
• how others react to them
• anything else you notice about them
And if you can’t remember enough details for a really good description, study them and watch them.
Important: When describing the person, it is vital to be as specific as possible. It’s no good writing that their posture is confident-looking. Its confidence you’re learning to make here, so you need to know its ingredients!