Self-confidence Exercise Five of Six
By Ellen Prue
Although this might seem like ‘revision’, it’s important that you give it some time. The stronger the roots of your self-confidence, the more likely it will stand up to the next storm!
You heard about the three biggest myths of self-confidence. If you can’t remember them, look back over them now. As you do this, think about how your attitudes have changed towards the myths. In what ways are you clearer now about what exactly confidence is?
• Look back to see what your definition of self-confidence was in exercise one. How has this changed? And how far have you moved towards realising those goals?
• You described some self-confident people. Has your opinion changed about them? In what ways do you understand more about their self-confidence now?
• Read over what you wrote about your confidence fantasy experience. Take two minutes to re-experience that now.
Write down at least five things you notice during the week ahead that illustrate to you that your self-confidence is improving. They’re easy to miss, like an unexpected feeling of comfort, or relaxation in a previously stressful situation, so really look hard. However small, these are the indicators that things are moving. And like a snowball rolling down a hill, once you get going…!
Confidence Tip: Trust ‘the back part’ of your mind!
As a human being, you are blessed with the most incredibly intelligent system, fine-tuned by millions of years of development.
Your unconscious mind moderates your body temperature, your co-ordination, your immune system. It allows you to remember things that you heard only once, years ago! It makes unbelievably complex tasks ridiculously easy, such as catching a ball, understanding a sentence, or recognising a smell.
You CAN trust it to do more for you. If it can do all this, it can certainly think of what to say in social situations, give you greater abilities in any area you need, enable you to learn almost anything you choose and much, much more.
All YOU need to do is let it. And to do this, you need to relax. When you’re relaxed, your mind and brain function in a much more intelligent, focused and efficient way. When you do relax in a situation that used to make you nervous or tense, you’ll really amaze yourself. (Or rather, your unconscious mind will amaze you!)
So, think about how it feels to just trust yourself a little more to do your best in a situation. Just have faith that whatever happens, you’ll be OK. Relax and enjoy watching what your unconscious mind can do for you.
The best way of building lasting confidence is to do things that make you surprised at your own ability. Typically, under-confident people have high standards so they don’t see little things as being worth much. So push it.
Give it a go, whatever it is. There’s only this life (arguably!) and one way to make it a boring one is to avoid doing new things. So go ahead, it won’t kill you!